What’s a word for putting others first?
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So let’s talk about putting others first versus putting yourself first. I’m gonna be getting to some affirmations regarding this topic in just a bit.
But first, let’s just have a quick conversation to explore this important topic. Now, there’s not just one way to approach this, because people have a wide variety of perspectives on this.
For instance, and I’m sure you know people like this …
There are definitely human beings on the planet that always seem to put the selves first.
They’re very self-centered, and if anything,they probably do need to focus more on serving other people, or at least being mindful and aware of how their words and their actions, their behaviors affect other people. And so most of what we’re going to be discussing here doesn’t apply completely to those types of people.
But I contend that most human beings, andI’m assuming that includes you, probably focus more on other people in a way that doesn’tserve the other people and doesn’t serve yourself.
So let’s talk about this. Quite often, because of the way we were raisedor messages we got when we were children growing up — certainly messages from certain religioustraditions talk about the importance of serving others and being compassionate and being empathetic– and those are great messages
. People who delivered them to you when youwere younger had noble intentions, but if you took that to heart to an extreme, likea lot of people do, you may have created a situation where the majority of your focusis on other people.
You always put other people first and yourneeds come second or are pushed down. There’s nothing wrong with that on the surface,but over the long haul, when you deny yourself your own desires, your own longings, yourown interests just to serve others, it can kinda come back to bite you. So if you think that describes you, let’ssee if we can change some of those patterns now. I’ve noticed that, and it’s not always thecase, but in particular women are affected by this. They generally have a nurturing quality, especiallywhen it comes to their families. The focus is on the kids.
The focus is on the spouse or the significantother. But many men are afflicted, if I can say that,with this need or this focus on serving other people. Again, there’s nothing wrong with this, butwhen you deny your own needs, you’re not in the best position to help others.
You’ve probably heard about the comparisonto the instructions that they give you before a commercial airplane takes off. They say: In the event that we lose pressureand the oxygen masks drop, if you’re tending to a child or someone with special needs,they always say, put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then help the other person.
And that’s a great analogy or a metaphor forwhat we’re talking about here. If you lose consciousness, if you’re not ina position to help that person in that particular airline scenario, then you’re not going tobe serving their needs very well.
So let’s just take that idea and apply itto our lives. Make sure that you are energized, that youare fulfilled, that you’re giving yourself all the fuel and the energy and the nurturingthat you require. You are in a much better position then toserve others. You also set a great example for your familyand your friends.
If you are pursuing your own interests andyour own desires and passions, it encourages them to do the same thing. So let’s say some affirmations that will reinforcethis and bring it to your awareness so that you catch yourself in those moments of denyingyourself pleasure, denying yourself the ability to do something that you crave, that you wantto do. Maybe you can change your behavior.
So here’s a great one. Repeat it after me. Putting myself first is the best way to serveothers. Say that to yourself. One more time. Putting myself first is the best way to serveothers.
Also, one of the reasons people don’t putthemselves first is they maybe don’t feel that they deserve it or that they’re worthyof it. So let’s see if we can shift that perspective,too. I nurture myself because I deserve it. Say that. Again, I nurture myself because I deserveit. Let’s restate in another way. Repeat this one.
I am worthy of self-love and serving my ownneeds. Let’s just change up the wording on that oneever so slightly. I am worthy of loving myself and serving myneeds. And here’s a good one to reinforce what Isaid earlier. Repeat this back to yourself. When I serve my needs, I have more energyto serve others.
One more time. When I serve my needs, I have more energyto serve others. Can you see the truth in that? This isn’t just some kind of fable that you’retelling yourself. It really is the truth. If you’re depleted, if you’re pushing downyour own interests and putting things off because you need to cater to the kids or theparents or the spouse, your community, the volunteer organization, your coworkers, yourboss, your employees .
the list goes on and on. If everyone else is the focus of you deliveringvalue and service, but you’re left out of that equation, you will deplete yourself. You’ll become frustrated. You may not even know why, but there willbe a sense of fulfillment, of apathy, of “What’s the purpose of all this?”
So I’m not saying to stop serving other people’s needs. That’s a great attribute to have — to beware of when someone needs something — to be there for your friends, certainly. But be sure that you make the time and effort nurture yourself — to make sure that you get enough rest and nutrition and physical activity, to scratch all the creative itches that you have, to take the class that you’ve always wanted to take, to take the trip you’ve always wanted to take. Stop putting all those things off because that will fill you up. It’ll fuel you.
It’ll energize you and give you much mo refocus and energy to do more good in the world. So here’s another affirmation to repeat back to yourself. Nurturing myself is the most caring thing I can do for everyone. That’s a great affirmation.
Say it again with feeling. Nurturing myself is the most caring thing can do for everyone. So the bottom line is, this is a balancing act. You nurture yourself — pay attention to your own insights, inspiration, and make sure those things are fulfilled, which then allows you to share that and to positively influence others.
And you also certainly get satisfaction from serving others. So it becomes like a, a circular transaction that just feeds itself and grows. All right, so in the days and the weeks ahead,just be aware. How often are you serving others?
How often are you serving yourself? How often do these things overlap? Do you catch yourself denying yourself pleasures and inclinations that seem to be calling you from a higher realm? And just slowly make different choices in your behavior so that your needs are being met, too.
At times, put yourself first, which would then give you the fuel, the energy, the fulfillment then to serve humanity or whatever little slice of it that you have an influence over. I hope this makes sense.
I hope this spoke to you and you can apply it to your specific situation, to your life, and to your circumstances. All right.
I believe in you. I’m cheering you on, and I’m so proud of you for listening to these recordings so that you can live a more inspiring and empowered life.
Until we meet again.
This is Bob Baker. So long for now, and have an awesome day!
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